It’s that time of year, and no I don’t mean Christmas (give Thanksgiving its due people!). Fall graduation for college students is upon us, or rather me. And now I will enlighten you as to what mental state (of disarray) we are actually in.
1: I can see the light!
There should really be no distinction between midterms and finals. The semester should more appropriately be split in half, the first 8 weeks being title “Deception” and the last 8 weeks “Hell.” But wait! The shining lights from the graduation stage are penetrating the dark, fiery lakes of your abyss. You’re almost free from the restraints of 17 years of educational institutions!
2: I should probably look for jobs…
While you have been absent-mindedly searching for jobs on the popular sites like, Careerbuilder and Indeed, you now realize you have limited time to convince someone to hire a fresh-faced noob such as yourself. Still, you have confidence. I mean, you wouldn’t have paid for 4 years of schooling if it didn’t make you marketable for a job, right?
3: You realize you paid for 4 years of school & still aren’t marketable for a job.
You post resumes online, apply for jobs using absurd amounts of online profiles for obscure companies you will never get a reply from. You slowly but surely get job requests for selling insurance, each email stating “We find your skills make you very qualified for this position.” Of course I’m qualified, it says you only need a high school diploma! It is about now the frustration begins to set in.
4: Oh God, am I going to have to move back home?
Where you once entered college eager and hopeful, naive enough to believe you would land your dream job before you even graduated college, your years at college have made you wiser, possibly cynical. Now you realize that life is a crap shute, and your crap’s about to hit the fan because you don’t have a job and that only means one thing. Moving. Back. Home.
5: WHAT IS LIFE????
Pure panic mixed with an existential crisis equals mania. The jobs you want don’t want you back, and one’s you don’t won’t stop calling. It’s like every bad relationship, making you question all the things, good and bad, about yourself, wondering what you are doing with your life, if there is even a point to it all?! And yes, there will be tears.
6: Maybe I’ll stay another semester or year?
5 is the new 4 in college years. Just like avoidance of reality is the new reality. (irony).
7: Wild vent seshs
On the verge of a quarter life crisis, you turn to those who are in your same shoes. One maniac talking to another is not necessarily productive, but it is comforting.
8: Hesitant Acceptance
You realize you aren’t the only one in the situation. And while you hate to accept the fact that living at home rent free for a while is actually an amazing thing, especially if your parents are still willing to take you in, you can’t deny the perks of it. But you still rebel to the idea, because we just can’t even.