Passive Aggressive Problem Solving: Making more problems since the dawn of time

Today I am here to share my story. I was a victim of and now survivor of passive aggressive encounters. Consider this an online PSA. This trend of problem solving must end now!

There are different forms of passive aggressive problem solving. It shows itself in many shapes, sizes, and forms of letters. I have witnessed them in text messages, post it notes, even notes written on empty toilet paper rolls. Yes, toilet paper rolls. Hasn’t it gone far enough?!

Its is futile to attempt to deny our generation’s obsession with technology. We all value our phones and computers and whatever else more than our dignity. Just think back to a time you thought you lost a valuable piece of technology in a public place… Not a pretty site. So it isn’t surprising that the rate of passive aggressive encounters has shot through the roof. We are no longer aware of how to communicate face to face. We avoid it, ignore it, even fear it. 

We don’t know the feeling of facing someone and directly asking them for something or commenting on an issue. So we do what we do best. We subtweet about it, text them from afar and pretend nothing has happened when we see them in person, write notes when we leave the house so we can’t be confronted when the victim finds it.

Overall, we are cowards.

In my personal experience with being placed in a passive aggressive situation, being written a note or sent a snarky text message does not make me relieved because I avoided human interaction. It makes me downright, ridiculously furious and insulted. I am furious because the whole concept of being passive aggressive is immature. Grow some ovaries and just talk to the person. Because it is also maddeningly insulting to think the people who are your friends or roommates or whoever they are, are afraid to approach you and be civil about it all. Especially if all it involves is replacing the freaking toilet paper. 

Passive aggressive “confrontations” will never solve problems. It will only create more passive aggressive conflicts. In the same way that feelings and emotions can’t be conveyed through text message or email, neither can solving a problem originate through a post-it note attached to a dirty dish. 

Living with people is hard. Confronting friends is hard. But since when has writing a snarky letter ever worked for anybody? When has someone been glad to see their roommate write “Don’t Eat!” on their ice cream when they could have just told them in person. Since when has writing dramatic notes reduced drama? 

Be an adult. Don’t write rude messages on toilet paper rolls. Just give them a call, talk to them at home. COMMUNICATE! If things keep heading down this path, I think we will all lose the ability to speak about problems at all. Soon all government agencies will be leaving snarky post-it’s on enemy desks.


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