Mindy Kaling: every worthless feeling girl’s best friend

Mindy Kaling will always be Kelly from The Office  for me. But she has become so much more than the chatty, superficial girl she played on that show with Steve Carrel. 

If there is one thing Mindy is, it is honest and open about her life. Yes, she is a woman. Yes, she is an Indian woman. Yes, she is a real sized Indian woman. And she embraces every aspect of herself, although she herself admits that there is always room for improvement. 

I recently read a buzzfeed article about her and some of her quotes stopped me in my pity partying tracks. I am like every other woman. I look at myself in the mirror and I see the things I like for about 5 seconds and then move onto all of the things I don’t for the next 30 minutes. I use make up and tight pants to hide the things about my body I work so hard to change but can’t. I am self- conscious and all too aware of what makes me different from the tall skinny girl standing next to me. Half of the time I think to myself “If only I was 5′ 6″ instead of 5’1″, then I would fit in my body better.” But I can’t stretch myself (although apparently you become 1 inch taller at night from laying down) like the mom in the movie The Incredibles. I can only push myself to be healthy and be grateful that my body is fully functioning and capable of so many things that many people crave their bodies could do as well. 

In my state of carrying around a few more pounds of awesomeness (my attempt at positivity), sometimes I feel I have too much awesomeness on me and that guys could never possible like someone as full of awesomeness as me. But in the article I mentioned above, there is a quote of Mindy saying,

“And I feel like I have been able to… be someone who has boyfriends and love interests and wear nice clothes and those kinds of things without having to be an emaciated stick. And it’s possible to be that way in life. You don’t have to be that way [emaciated stick] and you can have a great life, a fun life, and a fulfilling love life.”

It may just be me, but when I am not confident in myself and the way I look, I feel as though I am not worthy or attractive to men. I doubt anyone’s sincere interest in me, or of becoming the girl guys describe as having a “nice personality” when they are asked if she is hot. We aren’t all Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally, we can’t all be societies view of beautiful and have a great personality, but I think we can reconfigure our sense of beauty.

People always say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But what if society has taught us the only beholders who count are of the opposite sex. We are our own beholders. We look in the mirror everyday and our sense of beauty and worth should not come from the opinion of others, but rather ourselves. It’s not an easy feat to look in the mirror every morning, unshowered with bed head throwing it back to the 80’s school picture day, but maybe if we tell ourselves, or write a note to remind us, then we can make change. We can stop listening to what others say, we can stop validating their comments with reactions and pity parties. All we can ever do in life is try to improve ourselves. Mindy also once said,

“I am constantly in a state of self-improvement but I don’t beat myself up over it.”

I think wanting to improve yourself for your health and well-being is always the best motivation. But don’t go searching to change your face at the doctors office or you may end up looking like this. I know I am not the best person to address this subject, because I get frustrated and angry at myself for not being able to make my body look a certain way. But when you are born the size of a slightly over-sized munchkin, you aren’t ever going to look like a 6’4″ model. And if I did look that thin, that wouldn’t be healthy. Let’s leave the juice cleanses to the models. 

I know loving yourself isn’t easy when the world floods our brains with images of how we have to look and act to be happy. But hopefully some Mindy-inspiration will help you get a foot in the door. 

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